I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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