Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
