i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
