her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
