Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
