it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
