but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You are the jesus of drinking
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
