i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
