i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
