I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
