we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He better not be in your backpack
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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