one two three fourrrrnication!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
