While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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