We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
