Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
did i just pee glitter
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
