Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
