break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
