Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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