Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize