Small penises have feelings too.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
