wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
