it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
