i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
PANTIES FOUND
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