that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
