I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
