no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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