i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
