Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
