Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
