omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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