i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
