She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
