he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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