what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
