im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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