I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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