I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
