I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
