shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
