I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
And then he peed in my hair
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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