you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
