Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Small penises have feelings too.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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