If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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