We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
