he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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