I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She's the barista slut.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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