Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
And then my night got REAL pukey
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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