dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
