What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
