The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
