And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
