I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
