White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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